Thanks Bambi Gordon, Small Business Mentor & Legend. Find out why at www.thewoo.com.au
Last month from one of the bottom bunks at The Loft Group and based on my 326 years of business experience (which is why they give me the bottom bunk…) I shared with you things I learnt along the way you should never say to a graphic designer.
This month let’s turn those tables like a heavily laden soy splashed lazy susan at your fave Chinese and have a look at the stuff that ad agency types say to us clients all the time. Stuff that when you are new to the game you may take at face value (And for those young players I have included translations…).
The juxtaposition of the vertical and horizontal helps us represent the transcendental nature of the blah, blah, blah
Look, frankly this translates to….”This is what we came up with….just because it looks pretty….Like most creativity we can’t actually pinpoint how it came about….but if you need a rationale we can bring in the Account Manager to explain”.
We tried to fit this into a quarter page but believe that the creative essence is best displayed in a double page spread
If you hear this one it may be that your relationship is coming close to the end. What they are really saying is “It makes you look like a much bigger client when we have our Key Number on a double page spread, which helps us get even more big clients so that we can sack the little ones like you”.
We are deliberately keeping the logo really small so that the reader is engaged
No they are not. This is usually a sign of a Creative Director who is so thrilled with the design that frankly, your logo, contact details and other guff has to be minimised so as not to detract from it.
A photo library pic just won’t do the product justice – we will need to set up a shoot in Hawaii
Or Sunshine Coast if the budget is a little tight. The upside is that they will insist, of course, that you accompany the shoot to supervise the models.
We have found a great new font that no one else is using which will really help you cut through
Which means that you won’t be able to make even the simplest change without coming back to them - forever
Don’t worry about those smudges and things, and the colour being a little off….That’s just because it is a low res PDF. It will be fine in the high res version
“And let’s face it….It’s bound to go through another 10 bloody changes so we are not wasting our time sending you final art until you make up your mind”
It’s really sick, wicked & viral
It will appeal to 22 year old graphic designers – who unfortunately represent exactly 0% of your customer base.
Can you come in for a presentation around 4.30pm Friday?
Now – the reason they are inviting you at the end of the working week, luring you with promise of alcohol and BBQ chips, is that the idea is rubbish and they need you to be a little tired and emotional for the presentation. Always be aware of the Friday night presentation!
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Have heard many of these. I would add:
This is such a strong concept, it’s a winner and that is why we are only showing you this one instead of the 3 you asked for.
Translation: they could only come up with one and probably left it to the last minute to work on the brief.
What is your agency on about?…
Sometimes it seems that the agency and the client talk a totally different language. Here are some translations for young players…….